Somewhere On The Narrow Path...
If you've walked with Jesus for any length of time, you know that He is the one who chooses your path. You are to obey and follow. Sounds simple right?
Not even close.
I said "Yes, Lord," to the call of "Come and follow me," when I was 14. I knew the Bible mentioned a narrow path and many older Christians told me I was on a journey. That sounded so exciting to me and I couldn't wait to discover all the good things that God had for me. I felt as though I was long overdue for "all things to work together for His good" in my life.
What I didn't anticipate or understand was the many winding turns, the sudden dips into deep valleys and the path becoming so obscured it was hard to follow. Every once in awhile the path would begin to rise again toward the high places that I sought and I would think, "this is it, no more valleys," only to find myself back down in a valley again. There were times I was sure I was lost. I was convinced I had somehow stumbled off the path and onto an impossibly narrow track fit for deer and goats...not humans.
I cried out to God in desperation. "Lord I am lost help me!" Only to have the way before me illuminated and that still small voice whisper, "You are right where I want you to be, my Beloved."
Seriously? I admit I've had more than one temper tantrum. More than one meltdown along the way, but God can take my anger and my tears. He uses them to fashion and form me more into His image.
"How can that be?"
I am so glad you asked! This journey I am on is more about my character development than my comfort. This journey is about the establishment of the fruit of the spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness and Self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). The same is true for you.
God is more concerned with your character than He is with your comfort. Dying to self is a painful process and trials, tribulations and suffering are the chisels He wields to remove those things that do not glorify Him.
My path is beyond challenging. I have endured so much and continue to endure as His grace is sufficient for me and my eyes are fixed on Him. I know that He would not give me this path if He was not going to provide a way for me.
I don't walk well. Like the main character in Hannah Hurnard's "Hinds Feet on High Places" - Much Afraid, I have been consumed and paralyzed by fear at times. Over the years, God has graciously set my soul and spirit FREE of all fear...even fear of pain, suffering and loss of independence. That was HUGE, because of all the many years of every form of abuse possible, trauma, loss and grief. Add the challenges associated with Cerebral Palsy and I have the recipe for the perfect storm. Chronic pain is my constant unwelcome companion.
Yet each day I find a way to overcome and to move forward down this treacherous narrow path the Lord has chosen for me. I trust Him completely and know that I may not see this manifested in my lifetime, but my viewpoint from Heaven will be perfect. I will be able to see then, those times when His angels caught me and protected me. I am certain, when I meet them, that I will thank them even though they will not want any thanks for merely doing their jobs.
If your are discouraged and feel lost today, take heart! You are not alone!
Contact me at the link below if you'd like to set up time to talk: